I already wrote about my number obsession, but one number I never mentioned was rewrites. A long time ago, not really, but it certainly seems like it was forever, I sat down and wrote a story. I liked it, but I was afraid to show it to anyone. Finally I handed it over to a few people and in between hyperventilating and dying of embarrassment, I waited. They all liked it…Of course, they’re my friends, but one person was an acquaintance and I’ll never forget what he told his wife….she’s going to be famous…I should have got it in writing…hahahahaha…The comment spurred me on and I started researching submissions. Who knew it was so confusing and disheartening. No, No, No, No…you get the idea…I got some lovely rejections, but I didn’t want a NO…I wanted a YES.
One day, I went to a writer’s conference and met with an editor…the guy was a total dickhead. Yeah, I said it…he was a Prick with a capital P. Let’s gloss over that experience, it sucked. Moving forward…I did learn that my 19 year old MC needed to be changed into a 16 or 17year old…Apparently 18, 19, & 20 year olds don’t exist in the publishing world. So….I rewrote the stupid story and made the MC 17…I didn’t like it…something was missing, but I got some requests from agents and editors….it was still no….so, I rewrote the first book making the character an adult…still didn’t work for me…I didn’t try to submit it…Meanwhile, I was writing other stuff, but every once in awhile, that story would call to me. I’d look at it and think…I still like that story. Now, some agents and publishers are begging for New Adult stories…so I’ve been toying with the story again. I’m starting to wonder how many times is normal to rewrite a story? How long do you hang onto that story before tucking it away and telling yourself it just isn’t good enough?
Right now, I’m in a weird place with my writing. I’ve had three short stories published, one novel published, and another short story coming out in June. The experience has been wonderful, scary and shitty all rolled into one. Now I’m trying to figure out what to write. I’ve gone back to that first novel, but I’ve started two more stories and looked at some other WIPs that I have sitting on my computer. All the stories are driving me nuts.
I’m still writing every day…not a tremendous amount of words and some days, they all suck, but at least I’m trying to get out of this funk. In the last week, I’ve read three books, and written a few more words. I think I’m slowly climbing out of the hole of despair, but now I have to make a decision…Which story do I focus on? I can’t keep jumping from story to story. It makes me feel crazy.